The second day of our boat trip was reserved for snorkelling. We got to explore an underwater world containing one of the richest assemblages of marine life found on this planet. We swam with fish, turtles and, most spectacularly of all, manta rays. Few words can articulate how amazing the day was. We returned to Labuan Bajo about 4pm. Between then and 9.30pm, we relaxed at the resort, showered and had dinner. Then we headed to Paradise Bar. Saturday night at the bar means two live bands, a DJ and an inviting dancefloor. We drank and danced the night away.
Tonight I realised that no one I know understands what I want to achieve. Is it my fault? Do I need to express myself better? Or does no one on this earth actually understand me? I have just spent four days with my best friends but our time culminated in them laughing at me. I recognise that I am different from a lot of people, but I never realised that I was so different that my friends wouldn’t recognise me!
This was written at about 4am after the night out in Paradise Bar. I can’t remember what my friends said to make me think they were laughing at me, but I was very, very drunk. As I wrote these words in my diary, I started crying. I went and knocked on Megan’s door and spilled my feelings out to her. From what I can remember, I explained that they made me realise (or think) that not even my best friends understand me and that consequently I never felt more alone in my life. Now that I’m no longer under the influence and can think clearly (clear-ish anyway…my head is hurting from drinking so much…), I am thinking that feelings of loneliness have been growing under the surface for some time, and the amazing time I have had with friends who have flown all the way to Flores to see me has pulled these feelings out and thrown them in my face. I guess it all came out last night because it was our last night together and I knew that come the morrow I would once again be without close friends who know me well. That and the fact that I was extremely drunk! While the imminent departure of my friends was part of the reason I cried, another part was probably the idea that people I am close with don’t fully understand me or my motivations. I can’t help but still believe this is true. But then, many people in this world can probably say the same. Whatever the cause, my crying episode has provided something new for my friends to laugh at.
|Distance ridden today||0km|
|Total distance ridden||9,609km|